BRITTANY GRACE.

day three - bathroom conversations

today was a good day (although i did eat three cookies! i was desperate for some sugar!). got up, gallivanted through fishcreek, went to work. we’re having training here this week. all the students are in the basement and are very loud even with all the doors closed! good for them though, i wouldn’t be able to do it! i also went to walmart today… andrew gave me a $10.33 giftcard so i bought some shampoo and gum.

no major thought process has been through my head yet today. however, i am becoming more thankful for my free time. my week/end is booking up so fast so i’m grateful for past weekends where i haven’t had to do anything but enjoy life. not that you can’t enjoy life when you’re busy… but you don’t enjoy it as much. well i don’t at least. anyways, i can’t wait till next friday. that means i’m not busy anymore (for a week) and i can go to the cabin.

i think air canada and canada post need to man up. everyone is going to think we’re all wimps.

im considering buying a kurt cobain cd.

yoga was good… same instructor as last night - the one who told us to ‘loosen your faces up, you all look like you’re constipated’. i’m glad she has a sense of humor. makes class more worthwhile.

also. the bruins won. I’m either numb or I don’t care.

that was my day.

welp, see ya later.

day two - melting dreams.

*i’m challenging myself to write everyday down for this next year. right now im just hoping i can remember to do this. it could be thoughts, pictures, excerpts from my day or just ramblings! enjoy!*

it was a case of the tuesday. tuesday is almost worst than monday. you don’t need it for anything… it’s just always there, in the way of wednesday. actually, monday, tuesday, wednesday and thursday are all in the way of friday. who created this system anyways. they could have been a little more generous with the weekends.

my day started off as it usually does, however i had the strangest dream and couldn’t get it out of my mind. you know those dreams that get in the way (like monday, tuesday, wednesday & thursday) ? well it was one of those… makes you second guess things. i tried to shake it off but it stuck with me throughout the day. i went for my morning gallivant through fishcreek park then went to work. work was alright. we have ‘teaming events’ next week. i hate those. it’s stupid. work is work. people at work are meant to stay at work.

work ended and i went and met rachel at yoga. yoga was good. those stretches just kill you. it was more cardio and core than anything else. i came home, did laundry and cleaned up my room.

i started Quitter by Jon Acuff last night. he’s telling me not to quit my day job to pursue my dream. it’s smart because i don’t know how to pursue my dream. it’s kinda melted down the drain and wont come back up. i mean, it’s still there but i dont think its something i can pursue for a couple years at least. i’ll need good financial stability and i don’t see that happening anytime soon. unless i stumble upon the lottery. which would be nice. but i know my dream is still there. and i cant forget about it. sometimes i try to though. it seems like more of a pain in the butt than anything when i try and figure it out. ugh. stupid.

then bed. i slept like horse. it was just the greatest and totally needed.

that is all.

day one - challenge: write everyday down

i’ve started a challenge for myself. actually, more like andrew started a challenge for me; to write everyday down. jason upton created that challenge for andrew. it can be a sentence or a novel, maybe even a picture. as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. i’m excited about this, i think it will be a challenge… or super easy. sometimes i have a lot to say, sometimes i have nothing to say… the pictures will come in handy for those times. most of the time, i’m sure it will just be thoughts i’m writing down. but they happened that day so i think it counts.

so, starting now… i’m writing everyday down.

(i’m aiming for this to last more than a month).

challenge: commence.

rachel and i start yoga tonight. i’m so excited. i think it’s wrong i’m this excited to get sweaty with other people… but rae is just as excited so im not going to retract that statement. i’m hoping that i can get some more energy from this and that it will help my neck and back. it’s been a solid two years since i’ve hurt it and i’m still in pain… and fear. the thought of getting back out on a wakeboard literally, scares me half to death. i rather stand on the glass at the calgary tower than wakeboard and heights is my number one fear. well i guess wakeboarding is now.

i got a raise today. that’s good i guess. not what i was aiming for but baby steps is fine for now. we’ll get there eventually. andrew phoned me and we talked for a bit. it’s nice to hear his voice during the day. it makes me calm down when i’m mad or panic (happens a lot working where i do). he is considering missing school wednesday if there’s a game 7 in the playoffs. i’m hoping there is just so i can hang out with him.

i need to get a new iphone this week. rogers screwed me over and wont let me upgrade for another six months. it makes me mad, but my current phone is on the fritz. does whatever the heck is wants.

i love summer.

there’s so many wedding things to do still. planning a wedding is literally a full time job. who only does dress adjustments at 8:30am? thats absolute insanity. lets be real here. i’ll just stick a couple safety pins in it and do it myself. my mom told me this morning they found someone to do the chair covers for us… just a couple things left to do (aka everything) then we’re laughing. bring it on.

until tomorrow,

adios.

Romans 8: It’s that simple.

I love Romans 8. I love to read it when I need some strength, or an extra push… when I’m starting to doubt myself or others or when I’m just in need of some reassurance. It really is as simple as it seems, Jesus flat out loves us. Don’t let life get to you… keep believing, keep pushing on; holding on. God is with us.

Romans 8:9-39

The Message

^9-11But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won’t know what we’re talking about. But for you who welcome him, in whom he dwells—even though you still experience all the limitations of sin—you yourself experience life on God’s terms. It stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he’ll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ’s!

 ^12-14So don’t you see that we don’t owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There’s nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God’s Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!

 ^15-17This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!

 ^18-21That’s why I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next. Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens.

 ^22-25All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs. These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

 ^26-28Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

 ^29-30God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.

 ^31-39So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

   They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
   We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.
None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

man up, you’ve got it good.

i’ve got it so good.

i sometimes forget how good i got it amongst a truck load of bad things. i’m learning that you really need to live life to the fullest. it’s not just some cheesy quote you see plastered on thirteen year old girls nexopia pages facebook status’. (if you can’t tell already, ‘strikeout’ and i have been reunited). it always seems to be things that clog up my happy pipes all at once. i’ve never been the kinda person that can handle a whole lot of anything ‘negative’ at once… stress, bad news, unhappy people… yadda, yadda, yadda.. you get it. just stupid things pile up like the civic goes in for a simple repairs and ends up needing more repairs than the great wall of china and wedding stuff that needs to get done and the fact that i want a real job. i’m so sick of this temporary placement crap. it’s like being in limbo for your entire life. you never really feel right about it. you’re constantly straddling the state line between california and oregon and you cant make up your mind on where you want to live. limbo. even little things like my phone. you type a text, and it will delete every single word once you finish… i can only imagine steve jobs sitting on the other end of my phone saying “f you, f you, f you.” they won’t even give me a new phone.

anyways, all that to say i’ve got it good. i’ve been blessed unbelievably and on days where i just want to pack it in and head to the previously stated state line, i man up and continue on with life as i know. i try to man up at least. it’s hard but it’s definitely worth it. think of all things you have to live for and all the crazy things you still have left to do… there’s a verse in the bible that andrew always quotes to me when i complain… something about not living for your momentary troubles but the prize that awaits you. that’s probably off, but something along those lines… very similar. 2 Chronicles 30:15 is also good.

anyways, man up. you’ve got it good.

they call it a black abyss.

i had a group of people over to my house a couple years ago. i met this one person and five minutes into our [first] conversation, she paused and said “you’re someone that misses people, aren’t you?”. me, being someone that rarely bares my soul to my greatest of friends let alone a complete stranger, stared at this person unable to comprehend what they had just asked. we stared at each other for a couple of minutes with the awkwardness of an unanswered question lingering in the air. she cleared her throat and sat up a little higher as if she were going to explain herself. i looked down at my hands, cradling my iphone with a message from my best friend who lives in edmonton. i saw her two hours previous to this conversation.

i looked back up at the her and with the greatest of confidence i replied “yes”. she nodded and with what seemed to be some hesitation as if she was second guessing herself, said “i thought so.”   our conversation ended there as i got up and sat on the couch hoping to avoid all other unnecessary, awkward and soul bearing questions. i never asked why she asked me that question, or where she was going with it and still to this day i dont know. i hadnt mentioned it to anyone in hope i wouldn’t have to discuss it in further detail.
  what i did get from that and what i managed to pull out from my deep, dark pit of my mind… and heart is that i am beyond grateful, thankful, happy and blessed for my friends and family, and for this one person [who has no conversation boundaries] to make me realize this by asking me one simple [non related] question.